so true it hurts.

I'm not usually one for email forwards (they're SO 8th grade), but every now and then a good one comes along. A big thanks to Kari for this one. Rather than inundating email inboxes, I figured I would post it here. Besides, it has been one crazy week, so I will take advantage of someone else's wit and just add commentary. 

*** Adult Truths ***

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
And hide journals. (Yes Mom, seriously).   

2. Nothing is worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
This has never happened to me. 

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
Why would you need a sarcastic font? 

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
I have a lot riding on this one, and I have gone to great lengths to learn the ONE skill that separates the girls from the women (if you know what I mean... and some of you do).  I simply cannot do it.  I have watched this video multiple times, and I STILL just. can't. do it.  There, I admitted it.

 
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
No, but Beverly Cleary sure is glad we had to.  

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Hmmm... this is probably true for a majority of the population.  I, on the other hand, usually need directions 1-4, thanks. 

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
And included pictures. 

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Amen. 

10. Bad decisions make good stories.
See #8. 

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
See e.g., this blog post. 

12. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
As a corporate lawyer, I rarely get to say "I second that motion."  So I'm saying it now. 

13. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
Most recently this has been applicable to the University of Wisconsin... who really REALLY needs to stop calling me for money.

14. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

15. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
COLLEGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

16. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

18. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
I especially do this with Spanish.  I would hate to know some of things I've agreed to... 

19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
Unless, of course, that jerk is me. 

20. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
Especially jeans.  This also ensures jeans fit forever.  If you're considering washing your jeans, I would say just go out and gain ten pounds instead - it would probably be a lot more fun that way.

21. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
Face watches will do that.  

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and pinning the tail on the donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
I amaze myself multiple times every morning.  

23. The first testicular guard, the "cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brains are also important.