ebay for lawyers

...literally.

The site is called Shpookle (in my opinion, lame... couldn't they have done something more "legal" and less... I don't know, "board game?").  Shpookle's tag line reads "Justice You Can Afford."  Again, they clearly don't have a marketing guy on the team...

Above The Law recently posted comparing Shpoonkle to Ebay.  But I think it's more like match.com, personally.  Two people sign online, one is a client, one is a lawyer.  They are searching for each other.  Each posts a profile about themselves and precisely what they're looking for in the other person... and then they scope each other out.  I suppose the cost aspect makes it a bit more like ebay...  Or makes it more like a prostitution version of match.com.  Whatever.

If I'm honest, I don't know that I'm THAT opposed to it.  One the one hand, we're de-valuing our profession (race to the bottom, if you will) and some people out there are probably providing some pretty terrible legal work for a pretty low price.  I can see that.  But, on the other hand, the clients who would hire those terrible lawyers probably wouldn't otherwise hire a lawyer.  Now, a lot of people argue that no lawyer is better than a terrible lawyer, but I'm not sure I agree with that.  No one tells the pro se defendant what his rights are when he opts to show up to court and tries to represent himself (the operative word there being "tries").  And while there are certainly terrible lawyers out there... they DID go to law school and they DID pass the bar, which means they DO know more than the general public when it comes to law.  And furthermore, if they royally screw up someone's case, there are malpractice suits for that.

Besides, there are also a lot of really good lawyers out there who would be happy to use Shpookle to bide their time between firm gigs, practice law part-time while raising a family, switch states and enter a new legal market, or begin building their own client base and ultimately their own firms.  The mistaken perception here just reiterates how antiquated the legal profession remains: But the GOOD lawyers are the ones who work for the BIG firms.  Wrong.  Not anymore.  Ask the lawyers of recent generations whether they would rather work for a big firm, billing 2200 hours a year or have their own firms, with the ability to work from home and have flexible schedules.  Sorry Big Law, but you lose.  Shpookle is just facilitating this transition.

Despite the fact that I disagree with ATL's ultimate negative critique of Shpookle, I have to appreciate and respect the way they began their post:  You can’t charge exorbitant hourly rates to wealthy clients for routine legal work and still call yourself a “profession” instead of “just another business.” You can’t raise the price of legal eduction to the point where young lawyers have to mortgage their financial futures before they even sit for the bar and still attract cautious and temperate professionals. You can’t advertise on television and twitter, turn courtrooms into a reality shows, Latham careers before they even start, have partners auction themselves to the highest bidder, and outsource legal work product to India because it’s cheaper — and yet still expect to there to be some “professional dignity” involved when somebody dangles the opportunity to make a buck in front of some lean and hungry legal service provider.  In short, you can’t do all of the things the legal profession has done over the past 20 or 30 years and expect to get anything other than a big pile of Shpoonkle. 

There are very few occasions where I don't think I could have said it better myself.  This is definitely one of those occasions.  I mean, what did people THINK was going to happen?  Frankly, I'm surprised Shpookle didn't pop up earlier (why does that sound... wrong??).  Anyway, for a profession that prides itself on being a "self-regulating industry," it seems to me that people are overly-worked up about this.  I really don't think it's that big of a deal.... and desperate times call for desperate measures.

I've said it a million times, and I'll say it again - there simply aren't enough jobs to support the number of lawyers out there.  And what do most lawyers do while they're between jobs?  Contract work.   I actually think Shpookle (despite its awful name) is an alright thing.  I'll be curious to see how it plays itself out as the legal profession evolves to adapt to social media.

finally, some good news

It's been a painful process... getting the word out there.  Telling people law school is not worth a quarter of a million dollar investment.  Explaining the mortgage on your life.  Begging, pleading, and sometimes crying to complete strangers not to go to law school.  It has led to embarrassing tirades, inappropriate Facebook reactions, and general feelings of defeat every time a friend or acquaintance thinks it won't happen to her, quits her perfectly respectable job and signs on the dotted line to incur a lifelong financial obligation for a career she thinks will complete her.  After a couple years of personal defeat... finally, a glimmer of hope (straight from the mouth of the ABA):


Law School Apps Drop 11

11.5%  YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It's a small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

Like everything else, it takes a village.  Not just a village of recent, disgruntled law grads whose light at the end of the tunnel is, very likely, an oncoming train, but everyone else in the legal profession too.  It takes lawyers who have been practicing for ten years and still can't afford to buy a house because of their law school debt.  It takes partners at national firms with "cushy" six figure jobs and no relationship with their spouses to say they would choose a different path if life gave them a "do-over."  It takes lawyers who waited to have kids until their debt was paid off... and maybe ended up waiting a little too long.  It takes a group effort to change the antiquated misconception that has been ingrained in our minds since we were children: Education, education and more education (no matter the cost) is always a worthwhile investment.  Finally, people are beginning to understand...

Next post:  The Ebay of Lawyering and why I might be for it (so sue me).

courtoons, comments and cupcakes.

This courtoon also struck me, maybe because the day I read it, I had just spent the morning at a Chamber of Commerce event honoring local small businesses... and one of the panelist speakers was none other than the owner of the Denver Cupcake Truck.  Now don't get me wrong... I think the Denver Cupcake Truck is an AWESOME idea... I'm just bummed I didn't think of it first.  I love the way their company relies on social media and self-marketing... and I love that they sell bacon-flavored cupcakes and were featured on NPR.  I love it.  It's creative and fun.  Beats the heck out of being a lawyer. 

Again, at the risk if it being too soon... the cupcake courtoon totally speaks for itself.  But for those missing the point, I'm happy to spell it out for you: There are too many lawyers.  There are not enough jobs.  It is important to consider other, non-traditional career paths.  Such as selling cupcakes.  Unfortunately, going solo selling cupcakes, even for those as successful at it as the Denver Cupcake Truck contingency, won't make you enough money to pay back those pesky law school loans.

BUT... if you do go to law school (or even if you go to your first semester of law school and then, when you do just ok on your finals and don't end up in the top 5% of your class and you realize that maybe you should cut your losses and be done with the whole thing) at least you'll understand this courtoon. 

Courtoons and Comments

Those who read my blog on the regular know that I like to use cartoons to "illustrate" my point (and in case there was any confusion there... those are necessary quotation marks because I intended to use both meanings of the word illustrate).  A huge thank you to Kevin for passing along Courtoons.

I hesitate to publish a couple of my favorites, only because... well, it might be too soon.  Since the first of the year, I have been so busy it's hard to see straight.  That doesn't mean we're out of the woods yet.  Two and a half months does not an economic boom make.  Still... this "courtoon" is pretty hysterical.

 It's particularly funny to me for a couple of reasons.  First, despite a great deal of advice to the contrary, I started the habit of writing down my time on a chart that looks very similar to the pictured chart, rather than relying on technology to keep track of my 6-minute billable increments.  Turns out that, like with everything else, computers are always better.  Especially at math.  And this lawyer apparently lacks reliable addition skills.  I was literally losing hours of my day, and I couldn't figure out where that time was going.  At this point, I have to assume that it went to the same place that socks go when you know you put them in the washer, but somehow they don't come out of the dryer.  Somewhere out there are a lot of socks and tenths of hours... just floating around.

Second, in my first few days as a "newly-minted lawyer," my supervising attorney made a face and rolled his eyes when I asked about keeping track of my non-billable "admin" time.  He tried to tell me that no cared what I did if it wasn't billable.  I refused to believe that was the case.  "But what if I'm working on something for the firm?  Like reviewing one of the firm vendor contracts or something??"  I asked in disbelief.  Doesn't matter.  No one cares. Was his response.  "But, but... what if I write an article that the firm asked me to write?!?"  Doesn't matter.  No one cares.  "Ok, well what if I attend a mandatory firm meeting that lasts 2 hours of my afternoon?!?!?"  Doesn't matter.  No one cares.

Those who know me, know how stubborn I can be (ok, how stubborn I am), so, again, despite explicit advice to the contrary, I kept track all of my personal/admin time during my first year of practice.  I entered all of the time I spent that wasn't billable, but that I felt like I deserved some kind of credit or recognition for.  No really... ALL of my time.  Like the nights I played on the firm's kickball team: "2.5 hours: Commute to/from and participation in Firm kickball game." (...like if I capitalized the "f" of Firm, it made it more legit... [there are additional jokes here that I'm just not going to make].).  Or the Firm potluck barbeque on a Saturday afternoon in August: "Preparation for and attendance at Firm BBQ.  Argument with boyfriend regarding the same."

This will not come as a surprise to anyone who has been practicing for more than a year... but guess what?  It didn't matter.  No one cared. 

... More Courtoons and Comments to come.

attack of the clones?

Thank you for retaining our firm.  Please be advised that we bill our Partners at between $350-$425/hour, Associates at between $150-$275/hour, Paralegals at $100/hour and Robots at $2500/hour.  We look forward to representing you on this matter. 



Armies of Expensive Lawyers_ Replaced by Cheaper Software - NYTimes

so true it hurts.

I'm not usually one for email forwards (they're SO 8th grade), but every now and then a good one comes along. A big thanks to Kari for this one. Rather than inundating email inboxes, I figured I would post it here. Besides, it has been one crazy week, so I will take advantage of someone else's wit and just add commentary. 

*** Adult Truths ***

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
And hide journals. (Yes Mom, seriously).   

2. Nothing is worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
This has never happened to me. 

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
Why would you need a sarcastic font? 

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
I have a lot riding on this one, and I have gone to great lengths to learn the ONE skill that separates the girls from the women (if you know what I mean... and some of you do).  I simply cannot do it.  I have watched this video multiple times, and I STILL just. can't. do it.  There, I admitted it.

 
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
No, but Beverly Cleary sure is glad we had to.  

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Hmmm... this is probably true for a majority of the population.  I, on the other hand, usually need directions 1-4, thanks. 

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
And included pictures. 

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Amen. 

10. Bad decisions make good stories.
See #8. 

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
See e.g., this blog post. 

12. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
As a corporate lawyer, I rarely get to say "I second that motion."  So I'm saying it now. 

13. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
Most recently this has been applicable to the University of Wisconsin... who really REALLY needs to stop calling me for money.

14. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

15. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
COLLEGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

16. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

18. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
I especially do this with Spanish.  I would hate to know some of things I've agreed to... 

19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
Unless, of course, that jerk is me. 

20. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
Especially jeans.  This also ensures jeans fit forever.  If you're considering washing your jeans, I would say just go out and gain ten pounds instead - it would probably be a lot more fun that way.

21. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
Face watches will do that.  

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and pinning the tail on the donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
I amaze myself multiple times every morning.  

23. The first testicular guard, the "cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brains are also important.