Road Warrior: the hoedown

Our team got into Philly and drove two hours through rush hour, to arrive at what we thought was our hotel, exhausted and ready for a relaxing night.  But it was the wrong Holiday Inn.  So was the next Holiday Inn we tried.  It turned out that OUR Holiday Inn was at least 20 minutes outside the city (in BFE, PA).  Foiled by Priceline... again. 

We finally arrived at our location and walked into a rundown lobby, with carpet from 1984 and a surly receptionist.  Tired and a bit slap-happy after a couple margaritas with the client, I noticed the "Manager on Duty" plaque and immediately burst out laughing.  Mr. Daniel Morningwake? The hotel manager's name is Morningwake?!?  That's incredible.  My coworkers looked over and immediately started laughing too.  That's like having a dentist named Dr. Tooth.  You can't make that shit up.  The receptionist stared at us blankly, mouthing "Morningwake" to herself a couple times and shaking her head simultaneously.  She finally looked up at us, made a face that clearly said "I don't get it" and gave us our room keys.  Welcome to the Holiday Inn Grantville, PA.

We proceeded to our rooms to discover the most uncomfortable beds in the universe, but at that point, it didn't matter.  I was wiped.  They say going from west to east is easier with the time change, but I actually think it's worse.  There is no excuse to be falling asleep at the dinner table at 9 pm because on your time, it's really 7 pm, but that trick never seems to work for me.  Knowing I shouldn't be tired makes me more tired.  Anyway, we woke up the next morning to decent Pennsylvania weather that proved amazing compared to the foot of snow Denver was slated to get that day.  Our client-filled day went incredibly well and our team was in high spirits come 4 o'clock.  The client's suggestion of spending a couple hours at Hershey Park in Hershey, PA was the perfect end to a good day and the beginning of a night like none other.

We were kids in a candy shop.  Literally.  After the Chocolate Tour (with singing cows!), we could not get to the candy room fast enough to voraciously swipe our debit cards and shovel the treats into our mouths.  Whatever type of subliminal messaging was being used in that tour... it worked.  Between the milkshakes, cookies, T-shirts and chocolate bars, it was only a matter of minutes before we were fat, dumb and happy, snapping pictures with the Hershey bars and enjoying the bliss of the sugar high before the nausea set in.

We continued the night of decadence with an incredible dinner (which included fabulous wine and lobster mac and cheese) and over-the-top witty banter.  The indulgence and laughter left everyone with side cramps as we hobbled to our cars.  Team Holiday Inn BFE loaded into the Santa Fe to begin the trek back to our hotel.  When we pulled in, one of my coworkers suggested a nightcap at The Saloon - the hotel bar.  We agreed and figured The Saloon would have a total of about three patrons, who, collectively, would have 7 teeth.  Au contraire.


The place was packed - not a seat to be had.  Not only that, it was HUGE, which was surprising because it was very unassuming from the front.  Clearly, The Saloon was the reason Holiday Inn BFE stayed in business because it certainly wasn't the comfort of the beds or the politeness of the staff.  Wide-eyed and jaws gaping, we turned the corner to find a stage with a live band and a massive dance floor filled with line-dancers.  It was incredible.  We somehow found a table on the other side of bar and ordered $2 beers.  I had never seen line-dancing before, at least not up close like this.  Holy cow,  that is some impressive stuff.  There's a different dance for every song (or, as Beans adamantly argued, a different song for every dance), and they all knew all the steps.  People partnered with anyone and everyone - couples of all different shapes, sizes and ages, everyone smiling and laughing and having a grand old time.  It was like nothing I had ever seen, and it totally put the electric slide to shame.  I've never been in the presence of so much dancing and sat so idly on the sidelines watching in awe.  It was a new experience for me.  And the band... they rocked.  One beer easily turned into three and nine o'clock slipped away to midnight before we reminded ourselves that we had meetings in the morning and a long trip back to Denver.  I was sad to call it a night, but amazed at what an incredible night it had turned out to be.

Priceline, thank you.  I owe you an apology and perhaps an extra $50 a night. #chillinattheholidayinn

Finding out your crappy hotel is home to the greatest hoedown this side of the Mississippi (or Ohio?) River.  AWESOME.