GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL

In a way, this is an obligatory New Years Eve post, but it's also something I've been thinking about a lot lately.  As 2010 draws to end, I've been hearing a number of people talking about goals - and not just abstract goals that they hope to one day accomplish, but rather sitting down at the beginning of a new year and putting on paper what you want to do and/or how you want to feel a year from now.

Christmas is always a good benchmark for me.  It's easy to think back to where I was last Christmas, what I was feeling, and whether this year is different at all.  But I've never actually done the prospective goal-setting exercise, which is interesting for me because I'm very goal-oriented, and I love lists.  So this year, I have committed to putting together a list of goals for 2011.  One immediately comes to mind, and I don't anticipate many of my readers will be surprised to hear it:  A diet... for my wallet. 

I have struggled with being responsible with my money for pretty much my entire life.  I think it's a sense of entitlement combined with how I always feel like "I can make it work."  I am notorious for trying to get too much done in too little time (as we speak, it's 10 am, and I'm supposed to pick up a friend at 10:30.  I'm in pajamas on the couch with my oatmeal, and there's a foot of snow on the ground, and the roads are terrible.  I should be leaving right now, but instead, I tell myself that I have time to finish this blog post, and I'll just get ready really quickly).  In a way, it's the same with money.  If I need something (I'm aware that "need" is a pretty ridiculous word to use here, and part of my goal is going to be distinguishing between "need" and "want," as basic as that sounds...) I usually buy it and tell myself that I'll just skimp for the rest of the month.

This year, my goal is to STICK TO MY BUDGET.  And friends, let me tell you... it's a very VERY tight budget, but I'm kind of excited by the challenge.  I have never felt in control of my finances, and with my extreme type-A personality, it has always been difficult for me to admit that.  So, this year I am going to work extremely hard to actually do it (which also takes into account a small... very small....savings program). 

There are many parts of my personality that I'm going to have to be aware of and fight against in this endeavor:  I am not going to do things I can't afford.  I am going to learn to say no, even when I know it's going to disappoint people.  I am going to stop being hostess extraordinaire and accept that people will be fine just drinking wine.  And along with that "saying no" goal, I am not going to let people pay for me just so I can go with.  This is because one of two things will happen:  (1) I won't be able to repay it, and I will feel guilty about it until I do, or (2) I will get wherever we decided to go and insist on picking up the tab for drinks to combat my guiltiness over accepting "charity." 

A lot of this is about accepting my circumstances... which, honestly, aren't too bad of circumstances.  I love my house.  I love my car.  I love my dog.  I love my friends.  I love running.  I love writing.  I love SVU reruns.  I love wine at home with the girls.  I love finding great deals.  I love hunting for treasures at thrift stores.   It's going to be OK... I just need to get it all under control.

A second, more non-tangible, goal also comes to mind immediately.  I need to get over myself.  I have been feeling a pull to start giving back somehow - to commit to community involvement and recognize that I am part of something much greater. Because it really REALLY is time for me to get ready and pick up my friend, I am going to end here.  But because I clearly can't NOT (yes, an obvious double-negative) tell you about how my goal-achieving process is going, anticipate a few blog posts about my (hopefully) progress in 2011.

Here's to a happy happy New Year!  Cheers!