now that i'm a lawyer...

...Certain things really aren't that cool anymore.


1.  Wearing a suit.  Thanks goes to Matt for his FB post today, which inspired this blog post.  Remember when dressing up in a suit was exciting and made us feel legit?  Like the days in law school where we "had" to be a suit, and we would roll our eyes when we said like it was the biggest inconvenience in the world... but really we were secretly loving it.  And then we would spend all day fielding questions about why we were in suit... with the best possible answer being: "Oh, I had to be in court this morning."  We would be sure to go to happy hour on days when we wore suits because there was nothing more legit than drinking a martini in a suit.

Now, when I have to put on a suit, I resent the fact that every article I am wearing cannot be washed conventionally, but rather, must go to the drycleaner.  There will be no happy hour for me on suit-days because I usually can't get home fast enough to switch my pantyhose and heels for sweat pants and slippers.  Now, rather than feeling legit, wearing a suit makes me feel like a rookie.  I've shown up too many times to events where I am one of a handful of people in a suit, and the only other suit-wearers are younger than I am.  Fail.

2.  Boredom.  Boredom before being a lawyer meant an afternoon movie, a long run or better yet - a nap.  Now, boredom equates to a lack of billable hours.  A lack of billable hours means having to make them up later.  That road leads to stress.  Boredom = Stress.  Definitely not a concept I understood before being a lawyer.

Notice how his brain is mush...

3.  Reading for Fun.  I no longer read for fun.  Sometimes, I can barely be bothered to read a menu.  I went from being someone who didn't watch a lot of TV and could fly through a book in a matter to days to being a lawyer who can't wait for Saturday afternoon to watch the dvr'ed week of TV.  What's worse... sometimes I don't even follow what's happening on shows like Two And A Half Men or Modern Family (translation:  pretty easy plot lines) because I'm so burned out from the week.  My poor book club has had to suffer with me bs'ing my way through our monthly gatherings.  Law school allowed me to perfect the practice of making it look like I had read when I hadn't.  Basically, you listen to two or three comments that other people make, and then you ask a question based on their comments and always start with, "So going off of what Bob and Mary said..."  I wish I could read for fun.  I really do.  But now, even the thought of having to sift through the mail makes me cringe.

4.  Great Concerts on  a School Night.  This one is pretty res ipsa.  Put simply, but I can't risk the hangover, and there is something about live music that makes me drink beer.  I can't explain it.  All it takes is one day of a hangover at work while being out of your mind busy (and billing in 6 minute increments) to convince you that your college days are most definitely behind you.

5.  A Full Calendar.  Before becoming a lawyer, having a lot going on meant you were popular and people wanted to be around you.  Now, a full calendar means everybody wants a piece of you.  Outlook reminders invoke a certain throat-closing fear that there's a deposition or a conference call that I totally spaced on.  My calendar is the last thing I check before I go to sleep and the first thing I look at when I wake up.  It makes me wonder what people did before smart phones.


Well I guess this is growing up (yes, that was a Blink 182 throwback).